I'm Not Stupid

I love to read the comics and love Real Life Adventures; however, this particular comic struck a nerve.

Several years ago, I ran up some outside stairs, missed one stair and my knee landed on cement.  I had some swelling, no bruising, but had difficulty walking.

After a short trip to a local clinic, the doctor could not find anything on my x-ray and referred me to an orthopedic specialist, hoping he could find a hidden fracture.

I brought my husband with me, and I'm glad I did.

All three of us were sitting in the exam room and the doctor began talking while looking at my file and x-rays.  I was having trouble understanding what he was saying because he was not looking at me.  I glanced at my husband, who was listening intently.

After a few moments, I finally spoke up and said, "I'm sorry.  I'm hearing impaired and I'm having trouble understanding you.  Can you look at me so I can lip-read you?"

Oh, I'm sorry.  I thought you were playing stupid.

Everything he said after that faded away.  I was shocked.  I looked at my husband and shot him a glance.  He was still looking at the doctor and listening to what was being said.

Did I really just hear him say that?  I'm pretty sure he said that.  What else could he have said?  Was he being sarcastic?  I don't know....

I was still reeling, replaying the conversation in my head while we headed out the door to the receptionist's desk and made an appointment.

As soon as we got inside the car, I asked my husband, "Did he really say, 'I thought you were playing stupid?"

My husband's shoulders dropped and he looked down at his lap.  "I was really hoping you didn't hear that," he said regretfully.

Well, I don't want to see him again.  Why would I want to see a doctor like that?

My husband quickly got out of the car and said he'd be right back.  Five minutes later, he came back, saying that he had cancelled the appointment .... and ...

he told the doctor why.

To his face.    *gasp*

What did you say?

I told him something along the lines that he was rude, unprofessional, and never should treat anyone, even if they didn't have a hearing loss, like that.

What did the doctor say?

Oh, that he was just joking around; he has cousins with hearing loss....etc, etc.  I told him that it didn't matter and that we weren't coming back.


My husband, my hero.

Deaf Disrimination and Jobs

I just watched the show, "What Would You Do?" yesterday.  I enjoy watching the show because of the people that stand up for what is right and wrong.  Depending on the circumstances, it seems like the majority of people "do not want to get involved." 

This particular episode resonated with me.  You can watch it HERE.

In summary, two girls (actors) go into a coffee shop to apply for a kitchen position.  The managers are also actors and they are instructed to tell the deaf applicants that they will "not be able to hire" them.  Why?  Because they are "deaf" or "not a good fit."  "If you can't hear me, how are we going to communicate?" "You can make a list."  The two actors try to tell the managers that they have the skills and that the manager can "write things down" for them.  The managers again tell them that they are welcome to fill out the application, but they still will not be hiring them.

The hope was that someone, anyone, would stand up to the managers and tell them that they could not discriminate against these two applicants.  Sure, the video showed many customers that were stunned and appalled by the actions of the manager.  But....they said and did....nothing.

A couple of people did stand up to the manager, but the most surprising of all were the three people that worked in human resources/recruitment that spoke up AFTER the applicants had left.  They tell the manager(s) that they shouldn't have done that and that it is discrimination.  But what they also told them was that they should just accept the application and NOT hire them.  Huh?  "Just accept it and don't call."

Un...be.....lie...vable.

Only one man in the coffee shop openly tells the manager out loud that what he is doing is unacceptable and threatens to not come back for business.   This guy should be wearing a cape.  A true modern-day hero.

This type of action usually happens behind closed doors, but ABC wanted to bring it out into the open to see what people would do.  Did it happen to me?  I don't know.

Well, most of my jobs as a teen were spent babysitting kids for $1 per hour.  I was great at it till I discovered dating and suddenly, I wasn't available to babysit on weekends.  During one or two summers, I cleaned an elementary school.  (My dad was the principal.  Nowadays, you can't hire family members...district policy).  I guess my first "real" job was at a nearby cookie factory.  I was probably one of three people that spoke English.  I befriended several Hispanic and a couple of Laotian girls that worked with me. 

When school started, I had permission to leave for the afternoon as part of "OJT: On the Job Training."  Part of the deal was one of my teachers was assigned to visit the facility where I worked and have one of my managers evaluate me.  My teacher shared my evaluation and I was surprised.  Of course, I was on time, but my performance was lacking because "I couldn't hear."

I was laid off with many other workers during the holidays.  The next summer, after my first year of college, I applied for and got a job at a local jewelry store.  I felt that if I told the owner of my hearing impairment, he would not hire me.  I got the job and it lasted three months. 

I walked in one day and he asked me into his office.  He handed me a pink slip and told me that I wasn't making him enough money.  I also wasn't answering the phone.  (I wasn't the only person working the counter; there were two other girls there and no one told me that I had to answer the phone).  He said that I should get my hearing checked; I walked out the door and cried all the way home. 

From then on, I have been very selective about jobs. One job required a typing test and an interview.  I passed the test and the interview with flying colors.  When the manager called me to say I got the job, I told her that I would be happy to accept, but that she needed to know one thing.

After I told her about my hearing, there was a brief moment of silence.  "Well, will you be able to use a phone?" she asked.  "I'm using a phone right now.  Is it a job requirement that I be able to answer phones?" I replied.  "I guess not," she answered.

Does deaf/hard of hearing discrimination still exist?  Perhaps.  I hope this show opened up doors for recruiters, managers, and owners alike to communicate with prospective applicants and explore alternatives to the job description.  A little bit of education can go a long ways....

I Am Not Alone

I just met my new neighbor across the street.  They are a couple with two grown children.  I found out that he is an audiologist.  A hard of hearing audiologist.  An audiologist that wears hearing aids.

That got my attention.

I have never heard of a hard of hearing audiologist.  But what better person than one who is hard of hearing to be able to understand what their clients are going through?

He told me that roughly 34 million Americans have some degree of hearing loss.  That doesn't even count those that have NOT been diagnosed.

I decided to search the Internet and see what I could find.  It is difficult to find accurate numbers, as these are self reported.

Nearly 10 million people are hard of hearing and close to 1million are functionally deaf. (Journal of Deaf Studies and Deaf Education, 2005)

Gallaudet Research Institute estimates that as many as 42 million people have some type of "trouble" with their hearing.

Approximately 1 million people are "functionally deaf."
More than half of this number are over 65 years of age.

About 8 million people are hard of hearing.
More than half of these people are over 65 years of age.

Where does that put me?  In a group of around 4-5 million people that live in the U.S.A.

What Do I Hear? Timpanogos Cave

One summer, I was outside talking to a neighbor of mine at the corner by her house.  My husband pulled up in the car and rolled down the window.  Quickly, he said,

"I am going to the store for milk and eggs."

"Okaaaay....." I say, scrambling through the "file cabinet" of familiar, similar words in my brain. I quickly re-count the number of syllables I heard, tapping my fingers to each syllable.  By this time, my husband has already driven away.  

This is what I came up with: 

I'm going to Timpanogos Cave.    (a popular place to visit in Utah.)

"He's going to Timpanogos Cave?" I said out loud.

My friend started laughing.  Uncontrollably.

"Huh?"  "What's so funny?" 

After several moments of laughing and trying to catch her breath, she finally said,

"He's... going... to the store... for milk... and eggs......"

Milk and eggs?  How in the world did I get Timpanogos Cave out of that?


I'm glad I can provide some comic relief!

How do I describe my hearing loss?

Have you ever tried to describe a color to someone who is blind?

My hearing loss is in BOTH ears.  My left ear is significantly worse than my right ear.  I have developed the habit of sitting by other people's left sides.  I have "trained" my husband and a few close friends to sit/stand by my right side.

My hearing is better in the higher pitches and louder sounds.  Brakes squealing, whistling, banging of pots and pans, sirens, hurt my ears.  Hard to believe?  It's true.  With hearing aids, I can understand female voices better than male voices.

Hearing aids simply amplify ALL sounds.  I hear the sound of a refrigerator or hum of a fan at the same volume as your voice. I do not have the ability to "tune out" sound.  For example, if you are tapping a pencil or drumming your fingers on a table, I hear it at the same level as I hear your voice.

However, newer digital aids have the ability to reduce background noise.  I have three directional microphones in my digital hearing aids that allow me to hear sounds in front of me, to the side, and behind me...like my kids in the car!  I still have difficulty telling which direction a sound is coming from...If you call my name from across the street, I will SPIN around a full 360º, looking for someone LOOKING at me.

I can only hear/understand certain speech sounds.  /SH/ and some other consonants are non-existent.


What is said          What I hear
Wash                      Watch
Shin                        Chin
Spent                      Pen
Dive                       Die

I can lip read.  When I was young, my older sister and I would silently "mouth" conversations to each other.  It was so much quicker and easier than writing notes.  Plus,  it was PRIVATE.  Lip reading is NOT 100% accurate.  Many words LOOK the same.  Combining hearing aids with lip reading, I can pretty much understand 80%-90% of what is being said.

I think.

Check here at Phonak to listen to demos of what sound is like for people with two different levels of hearing loss.